i dont wanna grow old alone..

dah lama is tak post anything in this blog... sekarang is dah naik pangkat jadi medical officer.. alhamdulillah.. 2 years of housemanship has taught me a lot.. being a medical officer i held a bigger responsibility towards the patient..
back to the topic..
for this past few days, i have been asking myself a lot about my future path.. being around pregnant patients, conducting birth and seeing the cute babies everyday has made me so overwhelm.. the urge to get married and have my own sweet family is too intense.
sometimes i asked myself
'am i a bad person that i don't deserve happiness?'
being a lover to someone, i can also be his friend, his foe, his mommy but i can never be his wife.. i can never be a mother to his child.
'will i grew old alone?'
'when i'm old, will there be someone to take care of me?'
these are the questions that has  been hanging in my mind..

'Loneliness is my least favorite thing about life. The thing that I'm most worried about is just being alone without anybody to care for or someone who will care for me.'

Anne Hathaway

footnote: i asked 'in your life, where do you put me?', ' where does our future  leads?'